You know that feeling when you look back on something and think, “What was I thinking?” We’ve all had that moment. But here’s the truth: the choice you made was always the best choice for you at that moment. Even if it doesn’t feel that way now.
Sounds a little strange? Let’s break it down.
There’s Only Ever One Real Option
In any situation, your choice isn’t random. It’s shaped by:
- Circumstances: What’s going on around you.
- You: Who you are right now—your experiences, beliefs, emotions.
- The best option for you: What feels most right for you in that moment.
In any given moment, based on who you are and what’s going on around you, you can only make one choice. It’s the one that happens. If someone else were in your shoes, they might have chosen differently. But you were the one making the choice.
Change Yourself, Change Your Choices
Some scientists say our choices are “set up” by everything that came before: how you were raised, your beliefs, your habits, even your fears. You think you’re choosing freely, but your brain is actually guiding you, based on how it’s wired.
That doesn’t mean you’re a robot. It just means that unless something inside you changes, your choices will mostly stay the same. And that’s why life can feel repetitive.
If you want to make a different choice next time, you’ve got to change. Evolve into someone who can see and make different decisions. As you grow—spiritually, emotionally, physically—you’ll start seeing new options. And with those new options, you’ll make different choices.
If You Want New Choices, You Need the New You
Here’s the good news: if you grow, your choices grow too. The more you learn, heal, reflect, and take care of yourself—mentally, emotionally, and physically—the more you’ll see different options. You’ll become the kind of person who can make better choices. The version of you from last year? They did the best they could. The version of you tomorrow? That person can do even better—if you grow.
Here’s another secret: when you make a choice, it also makes you grow.
You can tell yourself you have many choices. But if nothing inside you changes, you’ll keep choosing the same kind of life. The same job. The same type of partner. The same reactions when you feel scared, angry, or rejected.
Want something different? Then grow. Read. Reflect. Ask for help. Cry if you need to. Stretch your mind. Heal your heart. And yes—try new things, even if you’re scared. That’s how you become someone who can choose better.
So What’s the Point?
Every choice you’ve made was the right one for who you were at the time. Stop beating yourself up about it. If you want a different life, stop trying to force different results with the same inner world.
Work on yourself. Grow in small ways. Develop yourself, and you’ll become a new you—one who makes different choices and creates a different life. The rest will follow.
