I had this conversation with a friend the other day. Brilliant guy. Sharp. Decades of experience. He’s applied to 60+ jobs in the last three months. He was submitted to a couple. Zero callbacks.

And it hit me: smart guys finish last.

Not because they’re not good enough. Not because they didn’t do the work. Not because they couldn’t crush the role. They finish last because the system isn’t built to reward talent, knowledge, or experience. It’s built to minimize risk.

They finish last BECAUSE they are too good.

If the job description says HubSpot and your resume says Salesforce – you don’t get a shot. Doesn’t matter if you could learn HubSpot blindfolded in a week. Doesn’t matter if you built out entire sales systems in Salesforce that generated millions. The AI doesn’t care about your brain. It cares about keywords. And if you don’t have the right word in the right place – you never even cross the starting line.

And if you think the manager is looking for “potential,” think again. They’re looking at your last couple jobs and asking: Was this person already doing exactly what I need? Because if not, you’re “too big of a leap.” You could be a product manager who grew revenue in banking, navigated regulators, dealt with impossible stakeholders – but if the new role is in insurance? You’re dismissed. Different label, different line item, too risky.

And then comes the age trap. The older you get, the harder it gets. You’d think 30 years of experience is an advantage. It’s not. It’s a liability. Because the 35-year-old hiring manager doesn’t want someone who makes them feel small. They don’t want someone who could run circles around them in knowledge. They don’t want someone who might challenge their judgment. They want safe. They want easy. They want a peer they can manage without feeling like a fraud in their own chair.

That’s the truth nobody likes to admit.

The job doesn’t go to the most capable. It doesn’t go to the fastest learner. It doesn’t go to the person who could walk in and reinvent the way things are done. It doesn’t go to the best of the best.

Who gets the job instead? The “safe bet.” The person who just left a role doing the exact same thing last month, with the right degree in the right box. Someone who will not reinvent anything, who slides into the team, nods along, keeps the steady comfortable pace without stirring the pond. Convenient to manage, pleasant to work with, and unlikely to challenge you – or your stale process.

Someone doesn’t throw all that knowledge and experience at you to make you – or the product – better.

So the irony? The more you know, the less they want you. The sharper you are, the more threatening you become. The more inconvenient. The more unpredictable. The more risky.

It’s not about who’s best. It’s about who fits easily into mediocre conformity.

So if you’re older, you’re ignored. If you’re different, misunderstood, quirky, you’re passed over. If you’re too talented, too experienced, too outside the mold – you’re dangerous.

That’s the game. Hiring isn’t a meritocracy. It’s not about brilliance. It’s not about upside. It’s about protecting the system from risk.

American job market doesn’t need superheroes. It doesn’t need Steve Jobses, Travis Kalanicks, Evan Williamses, Jack Dorseys. It needs Dwight Schrutes and Charlie Browns, quiet Dudley Do-Rights who does just a little more than “OK” to show that they still are good for the job, but who are convenient to keep.

Because they are predictable…

But the truth is, achievements are inconvenient. Growth is not always pleasant. Strive for excellence and especially when it’s enforced upon you is annoying and may be even painful.

The tragedy? The very things that make someone unstoppable in real life – range, adaptability, wisdom – are the same things that get you eliminated in the hiring funnel.

But you rip what you sew. America, don’t expect excellence in your products if you keep hiring mediocrity just because brilliance makes you uncomfortable.

Just like Cracker Barrel’s logo redesign – safe, bland, trend-chasing – predictable hires produce products and brands that feel forgettable.

Conformity kills recognition and impact. This is what happens when you play it safe.

You hired that.

The post Smart Guys Finish Last first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

People keep asking me what is the message mindset coach.

We all use language every day, but most of us don’t realize how much our words shape our reality. Language is “more than just a means of communication” – it shapes our emotions, beliefs, and energy levels”. A Message Mindset Coach helps you tap into that power. In short, this coach specializes in the mindset shifts, personal transformations, and even business growth and the techniques they use are i one way or another are connected to the message – the words you speak, write, and even think.

We often overlook what we say, but every phrase we use carries weight (positive or negative) for how we feel and what we achieve. Not only the words that go through our system, impact our way of thinking, they shape our perceptions and ultimately influence our life’s trajectory”.

Message Mindset Coach guides you to examine the messages in your life – spoken, written, and internal – and help you reshape them for growth. In personal life, this exploration helps you recognize your speaking patterns that affect your communications – with people that matter in your life, and help shape that conversation which is especially valuable when it comes to the most important conversation in your life – with self.

In general, mindset coaches are experts at helping people discover, practice, and master new ways to intentionally shape their mindset. A Message Mindset Coach focuses that process on communication – external and internal.

When it comes to personal growth, Message Mindset Coaches show you that your internal dialogue and word choices aren’t fixed – you can rewrite them. In business, Message Mindset Coaches teach you how to use the power of message to supercharge your offer and relationship with your customer.

A Shared Struggle: Wrong Message

Aesop called the tongue both the best and the worst for a reason. Language can create peace or provoke war. It can build bridges or burn them. Word can kill, just as fast as it can cure. Shifting the narrative may change the game and turn it 180. All the most progressive mindset-shifting patterns rest on the message. Business success is literally in the message—drop your offer game, and you will not have any business.

A word is not a bird—you let it fly, you won’t catch it. Once spoken, it lives outside of you and begins shaping how others see you and how you see yourself.

Your internal monologue makes you who you are—or breaks you, preventing you from becoming who you want to be. Just like it’s easy to fall into negative self-talk, it’s just as easy to send the wrong message to your target audience and miss the marketing mark. In business, the impact of the wrong message may come at a high price. In personal life, the price may be even higher – not only wrong message can turn you away from being who you want to be, it stalls your growth, breaks relationships, and it also breaks lives.

Regaining Control

Here’s the good news: you can change your inner narrative, improve any conversation in your life, and you can make any offer sound irresistible – with the power of message. You can literally use the word to not only inspire others to buy what you are selling faster and easier, but with the right message, you can steer anyone to make decisions that favor you. and it’s not manipulation. It’s inspiration.

With a shift in perspective about your inner and outer conversations – you become the author of your story, and your life. Your life is absolutely inseparable from the kind of message its running on. Even if you don’t talk to anyone – you always talk to yourself.

You even talk to yourself when you are in a coma. That may sound surprising, but research shows that our brains continue to process language and internal dialogue even in altered states of consciousness. Our internal narrative is so deeply wired that it doesn’t simply switch off; it loops and repeats beneath the surface, influencing how we feel and who we become.

This means that the messages you send yourself—whether encouraging, critical, or neutral—are always active, shaping your mindset at a foundational level. It’s not just about what you say out loud or write down; it’s the ongoing conversation inside that forms the blueprint of your beliefs and behaviors. Recognizing this gives you a profound opportunity: to take conscious control of those internal messages, because even when you’re not speaking, your mind never stops communicating with itself.

You can create your own reframes that feel true. Practice makes real change: each time you notice a harsh thought and swap it for an encouraging one, you slowly rewire your brain. Studies confirm that with practice, your brain will adopt these new positive patterns, leading to “significant improvements in your emotional well-being and overall outlook on life”

In other words, by repeatedly speaking to yourself with kindness and possibility, you train your mind to expect and achieve better outcomes. You deserve this shift.

Your Open Invitation: Shape Your Narrative

The Message Mindset Coach ultimately invites you to reflect: What story do you want to tell yourself and others today? Your words literally shape your beliefs, so you always have a choice. You can continue believing the old limiting scripts, or you can choose words that uplift. Every inner question – “Can I do this? Do I deserve this?” – is an open invitation to a new answer. You might try it now: the next time you catch yourself saying “I’m not ready” or “I don’t deserve it,” pause and ask, “What if I am ready, and I do deserve this?”

You deserve to be heard, to express your ideas, and to succeed. You deserve to send a message about your offer that finds the exact people who need it the most – and help as many as possible.

A Message Mindset Coach simply holds the mirror up to your language and says, “Look at this power in your hands.”

How will you use it? Whether you make a small shift today or begin a deeper journey with a coach, know that changing your message is changing your life. The choice is yours.

The post The Message Mindset Coach – Truly Empowering Your Voice first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

Have you ever read a self‑help book?
At least one?
If not—bless your soul.
But the rest of us? We weren’t so fortunate.

Hi, I’m Natasha—the creator of Believe You Deserve and Message & Mindset Coach.

If you’re over 30, you’ve probably read at least one self‑help book. And it likely wasn’t a random title—it was one of those famous ones everyone talks about.

You read it.
You got inspired.
You started thinking differently—for a few days. Then… life happened. You drifted back to the familiar.
The spark that book gave you? Gone.
If that happened, don’t beat yourself up. You may have learned something. Maybe you even applied it briefly. But did it truly change you? Was the wisdom worth it?

Most self‑help books just repeat the same few ideas dressed in different metaphors.

One part of you says:
“See? I just need to try harder.”

Another whispers:
“But I want to change—why does nothing stick?”

And deep down:
“I’ve read so much… but I still feel the same.”

Here’s the hard data: about 19% of self‑help books are rated very helpful by psychologists, meaning they tend to be evidence-based, practical, and harmless. That leaves around 80% of self‑help books lacking those qualities.

A 2008 study of 50 top-selling self‑help books found only 48% included techniques backed by research, just 24% guided readers on tracking progress, and only 34% focused on long-term change rather than temporary feel-good boosts.

Though about 75% of self‑help readers report feeling a positive shift, research shows it tends to be surface-level and short-lived—not the deep transformation you ideally wanted. Hey, most of self-help books don’t even say anything new. It’s the same old set of advice packaged under new catch titles and colorful covers.

People often consume endlessly as a safe zone, avoiding the messy, vulnerable work of real change. The danger: becoming a “perpetual student” trapped in knowledge consumption but never integration. But the main element missing in most self-help books—even the ‘good’ ones—is something extremely important for any new knowledge to stick: actionable guidance and structure. Without a plan that not only provides a way to implement new knowledge, no new way of living will stick.

And I’ll go even further: having a framework alone isn’t enough. You always need a path to evaluate how it’s working—and whether it’s working at all.

Think of any empirically based meaningful process:

• In business, you don’t just advertise—you verify which message, creative, channel, and audience generate more qualified leads.
• In software development, no solid product launches without feedback on what people want, how they want it, and why.

It’s always implement → test → refine—no exceptions.

That’s precisely why for example, our Believe You Deserve course includes a 60‑day Apply–Test–Refine plan.

Because knowledge doesn’t stick if it’s not actively practiced—and it doesn’t transform unless it touches both mind and heart.

But what’s even more important is the direction, the purpose, the goal. Action without purpose is easy to give up on; purpose fuels consistency. Courage to show up imperfectly is the actual gateway to transformation, not flawless execution. Where are you going with all this change? What’s your north star? The ultimate reward.

Change for the sake of change is purposeless. Perfection doesn’t exist, and purposeless action will ultimately feel empty.

So, what’s the verdict? Our culture is addicted to consuming wisdom instead of embodying it. We binge books, chase those aha moments—and never spend them. We treat insight like currency—collecting more, spending none. That’s because we want to think and have an impression that we do the work without actually changing anything.

Because our survival system doesn’t want us to change. It wants us quiet. Silent. Same. Oh you want to change – just read the new book, think you are doing something so you can let me off the hook while I am craftily keep you in the same old state – protected from everything new. Protected from living.

The self help book phenomenon was not created by the desire to transform. It was created by a collective survival mentality matrix to give you an illusion of possibility of a transformation, a dopamine shot that will keep you happy for a while. Your brain rewards acquiring knowledge—but not the real transformation that comes from application. This creates an illusion of progress—anticipation without actual change. You can feel busy learning but still be stuck in the same place.

You are moving from one self help book, youtube video, instagram reel to another and think you are contributing to your growth while in fact you are still the slave of the Matrix where Everything. Always. Stays. The Same.

The truth? Most self‑help books shouldn’t exist. They should be self‑help cards: one message, one wisdom – one action to take. What works are action frameworks—guides that don’t just inspire thought, but drive change.

If you only implemented one activity from every single self-help book you have read or inspirational video you have watched, you would become unrecognizable within a year’s time.

Here’s your permission: If you’ve read every book and still feel stuck – you’re not broken. You’re being intentionally kept in a mindset of inaction. You’re just missing a system that turns wisdom into rewiring.

Next time you pick up a book, ask:
“Where will I apply this?”
“How will I track progress?”
“What will I do when it doesn’t work as intended?”

Don’t just use your highlighter or side notes, turn them into at least one action you commit to making part of your everyday life. Break goals into tiny steps so the brain can reward action and not just ideas. This rewires the brain toward real change. Real change happens when you feel it, practice it, and live it, not just understand it with your mind. But let it take over your whole being.

Please, let me know which self-help books actually made you take action. Let’s have a conversation!

And remember, you are not alone.

The post This is Exactly Why Most Self‑Help Books Never Work first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

What I discovered wasn’t a viral hack or a secret formula. It’s just a structure that works for me—because of how I speak, how I think, and how I connect. You don’t have to copy it. In fact, I hope you don’t.

But if you’re trying to make your message land deeper, maybe this framework gives you something to experiment with.

Here’s what I did—step by step.

1. Open with a Disarming Question or Contradiction

Start with something that makes your audience tilt their head. It should quietly destabilize something they believe to be true.

In my video, I opened with:

“Why does going the right way still feel like something is missing?’”

It wasn’t loud. Just… gently disorienting.

Why it works: It creates a subtle emotional tension. A reason to stay and find resolution.

2. Name the Universal Struggle

Call out the “smart” way of doing life—and show that it’s still not working emotionally.

I said:

“You’re a good student. A high performer… but why does it still feel like something’s off?”

Why it works: People want to feel seen, not studied. When you reflect their internal experience, they lean in.

3. List the Logical Steps We All Try to Take

Name the checklist. The milestones. The things we’re taught to pursue.

“Pick the right college… the right partner… the right rules…”

Why it works: It sharpens self-recognition. The viewer sees themselves in the list—and starts to question it.

4. Introduce Internal Conflict (Voice vs. Voice)

Pit their inner voices against each other. Show that “truth” is layered.

“Is it my father’s ‘right’? My mother’s? My own? What if mine keeps changing?”

Why it works: It opens space for inner fluidity. It invites them to honor their own uncertainty.

5. Spiral Down into Existential Realization

Now we go deeper. Ask the hard, meta-questions.

“Why do I keep returning to the complexity… Why don’t I let myself be simple?”
“Am I expecting a reward?”

Why it works: The viewer stops analyzing and starts feeling. Their own ache surfaces.

6. Break the Illusion (The Cracking Moment)

Reveal what you saw. Share the moment the illusion fell apart for you.

“We’ve become so absorbed in doing life right, it’s like a performance…”

Why it works: It’s the unmasking. And when you take off your mask, they begin to take off theirs.

7. Cultural or Emotional Mirror (Optional)

In this video, I included a line from Pleasantville:

“David’s Mom: ‘I had the right house. The right car. The right life…’”

Why it works: It grounds the message in a shared emotional moment. Makes it sticky.

8. Offer a Soft Reframe (No Instruction)

No advice. No action steps. Just a shift in perspective—tender and spacious.

“Maybe the right thing is to just try to be driven by love…”
“…not perfect. Not always clear. Just real.”

Why it works: It creates relief. No pressure. Just a new way to see things.

9. End on a Gentle Paradox or Permission

A closing phrase that feels like an exhale. An invitation to stop chasing.

“And maybe not even look for the right way.”

Why it works: It unhooks the viewer. The spiral closes not with a solution—but with peace.

Summary: The 5-Step Simplified Spiral

1. Disarming Entry

Open with a question or statement that breaks expectation and evokes immediate reflection.

2. Shared Human Struggle

Name a common internal tension or psychological dilemma that creates identification and emotional grounding.

3. Unseen Pattern or Trap

Reveal the deeper system, belief, or loop that sustains the struggle—something normally overlooked or misunderstood.

4. Reframe and Restore Agency

Offer a perspective shift that dissolves self-blame and repositions the listener as capable of change.

5. Open Invitation

End with a thought or inquiry that expands choice, sparks insight, or invites aligned action.

Final Thought

You don’t need to follow this exactly. But if you’re a deep thinker, a soft challenger, or someone who speaks from the quiet corners of experience—this may work for you too.

It worked for me because I didn’t try to teach. I tried to feel. And people don’t just subscribe to knowledge. They subscribe to resonance.

Try it. Not because it’s “right.” But because it might just be real.

The post What I Learned From My Best Performing YouTube Video first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

If this is what you’ve been going through, this video is for you. Because usually, when I go to sleep, I imagine the things, the experiences, the feelings, I want to feel in life. And a lot of times, I get these inspired ideas through this practice. So last night, as I was falling asleep, I had this idea: which desire did you give up on? And something in that question lit me up. I knew I wanted to turn it into an exercise and share it with you.

Here’s why I’m so excited about this. Our desires, they’re the fuel of our lives. I truly believe that. They’re what keep us alive inside. They give us energy, they give us courage, they move us forward. And while some desires shift as we grow, others, core desires, never go away. Like the desire for love. The desire for intimacy. For connection. For purpose. For fulfillment. These live deep inside us, and when they’re not fulfilled, they don’t disappear. They just ache. Quietly. Consistently.

So I made this exercise for myself, but I’m sharing it with you too. Because maybe you’ve had a desire, one that mattered, that you gave up on. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to bring it back to life.

You’ll need something to write with. Pen and paper, or device and stylus, whatever works. But don’t just think it. Write it. Make it real.

Step one: Write your desire as if it already came true. And then, list at least three things that matter to you about that desire. Why do they matter? What do they say about you? Why are they important? Write it down. Pause this video if you need to. I’ll be right here when you’re ready.

Step two: Ask yourself, what if this desire never comes true? What happens to your life? How does it affect you over time? How would it feel to carry that emptiness with you, quietly, for the rest of your life? Be honest. It’s okay if it brings up sadness or grief. These feelings hold information.

Step three: Go back to the vision of your desire fulfilled. Read it again, feel it in your body. What’s different now? What shifts in you? Do you feel joy? Aliveness? Relief? Peace? Whatever comes up, write it down. You need to see it.

Now close your eyes and imagine this fulfilled life. Breathe it in. If it brings you a sense of joy, peace, love, relief, then this desire is essential for your vitality. You didn’t truly give up on it. It still lives inside you. So if you’ve been telling yourself it’s gone, that’s not the truth. What happened is that somewhere inside, a belief took root, a belief that told you this can’t happen for you. That it’s not possible. That it’s not for you.

But that belief is a lie. The very fact that you have this desire means it’s part of your path. You can have it. You can create it. You can feel it. It’s yours.

When I did this kind of work for myself, I found a path back to my own fire. My own self-worth. My own “I know this is mine, and I’m going to go for it.” And now, I want to help you do the same.

So, if this resonated, I created a free workbook called the Limitless Beliefs. It’s simple, it’s clear, and it’ll help you reconnect with those parts of yourself that are still alive, even if they’ve gone quiet.

Download the workbook. The link is in the description.

You can bring your joy back even if it feels like it’s too late. It’s never too late while we are alive.

Let’s do this together.

The post Why You Feel Lifeless (And How to Bring Your Joy Back) first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

Most of us want to find our way in life… the right way. Not the righteous one, but the one that feels like the way we should be taking. 

So why does going the right way still feel like something is missing?

You’re a good student. A high performer. You’ve walked the logical path—step by step—toward your own version of success and righteousness. But why does it still feel like something’s… off?

Have you found yourself  trying to control everything, to follow the right path? Pick the right college, and then choose the right major. The right job. Find the right partner. The right car. Buy the right house. Make sure that everyone important in our lives thinks well of us. We want no bad opinions. We want everything to follow the “rules”—our rules. No matter if they don’t match the societal rules, these are the rules we feel comfortable around. They are constructed with reason. They are familiar. And if we follow them, maybe we’ll be fine. Safe.

But that brings me to a deeper question: why do I feel the need to live in a way that simply feels “right” to me? What even is “the right way”? Is it the version of “right” that my father tried to teach me? Or the one my mother instilled in me? They are my parents, after all. Their voices still echo in me. Or is the right way the one that society says I should follow? My teachers? My surroundings? 

Or should I follow the “right” that I feel internally? But what if that keeps changing? What if some of these “rights” are outdated and no longer serve me—but I still cling to them out of loyalty or fear? And what if I am dead wrong about my right? 

Can anyone tell me what the right way is – that’s what I was thinking in my late 20-s

Why do I keep returning to the complexity of trying to first understand what the right way is and then to doing that right things? Why don’t I let myself be simple? Why do I keep confusing myself—and others—with my attempts at small, abstract transformations? AM I expecting that if I do it in a specific, so-called, right thing, something magical – even righter – will happen to me? I pass the test? I will be rewarded? 

And then it hit me… 

We are too absorbed by doing the life the right way. I realized how seriously we all take this Matrix game. We’ve become so absorbed in “doing life” that we’ve started living it like a performance. I catch myself taking things far too seriously. I’ve grown attached to a certain identity—a mask I wear. And I wonder… Why?

Sometimes, we spend our whole lives trying to understand this “right thing”. Until we finally get it, there is no right thing… 

INSERT LAST SCENE OF PLEASANTVILLE 

David’s Mom: “When your father was here, I used to think,
‘This was it. This is the way it was always going to be. I had the right house. I had the right car. I had the right life.’”

David: “There is no right house. There is no right car.”

David’s Mom: “How’d you get so smart all of a sudden?”

INSERT LAST SCENE OF PLEASANTVILLE 

Maybe the real “right” thing is: to understand that life isn’t about right or wrong. It just is. It’s a mosaic of contradictions. It holds love and hate, joy and pain, loss and victory, laughter and tears. And love, too—always love. So maybe the right thing is to just try to be driven by it. By love. Sure, this is not going to be always possible, sometimes we need to be driven by other things, too. 

And maybe the right way isn’t something to find or prove—maybe it’s simply to live honestly, authentically, and with as much love as we can muster. Not perfect, not always clear, just real.

And maybe not even look for the right way. 

The post Are you doing the right thing? first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

When you’re drowning in pain and force a smile with words like “I’m fine” or “I’m grateful,” it doesn’t heal you – it abandons you. You can’t lie your way to self-rescue.

The body doesn’t believe it

You can say “I’m worthy” all day long. But if your nervous system is in a freeze, fight, or fawn response… your body’s screaming louder than your affirmations ever will.

It teaches you to bypass, not process

Positive thinking often becomes a mask. You skip the real work – like grief, rage, fear – and try to wallpaper over trauma with sunshine. It doesn’t stick.

It makes failure feel like your fault

Can’t manifest? Can’t feel better? Still stuck? “Maybe I’m just not thinking positive enough…” See the trap? You start blaming yourself for being human.

It’s not powerful – it’s performative

Posting affirmations, journaling goals, repeating mantras… if it’s done from fear, not embodiment – it’s just spiritual cosmetics. The shift you crave lives deeper.

It’s not about thinking better. It’s about feeling safer

Want your beliefs to change? Start where your body actually is – not where your mind wishes you were.

5 simple, real ways to work with pain

5 simple, real ways to work with pain

Say exactly how you feel – out loud

Naming the truth unclogs the emotional pipe. Try: “I feel lost.” “I don’t know what to do.” “Everything feels heavy.” Speaking it removes the shame. That’s the first layer of relief.

Put your hand where it hurts. Literally

Place your hand on your heart, chest, or belly – wherever the despair lives. Stay there. Breathe into your palm. Let your body know you’re present with it, not abandoning it.

Do one small thing that reminds you you’re alive

Take a cold shower. Step barefoot into grass. Drink hot tea and feel it go down. This isn’t distraction. It’s regulation. Despair shrinks when you’re grounded.

Let one person witness you – without fixing you

Despair deepens in isolation. Send a voice note to someone safe. No need to explain or solve. Just: “I’m in it right now. I don’t need advice, just presence.” That shared moment can break the spiral.

Move the despair out – even 1%

Cry. Scream into a pillow. Shake your arms. Hum with your eyes closed. Emotion is energy. Energy moves. Movement means you’re not stuck – you’re processing.

These don’t promise instant happiness. But they do promise something better: relief that’s real. And from there… healing can start.

The post Why “Positive” Thinking Isn’t Working When You Are in Pain first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

2. Willpower Isn’t Infinite
You’ve been fighting limiting beliefs in the background—every single day. That quiet resistance drains your system until one day, it just shuts down. Not your fault. Just out of fuel.

3. Exhaustion Speaks Your Truth
In your lowest moments, your soul finally whispers what it wants: love, ease, freedom. Those aren’t breakdowns. They’re breakthroughs in disguise. Listen—don’t fix.

4. Don’t Decide While Drained
In burnout, perspective is distorted. Avoid major life decisions. Wait until your clarity returns—because it always does. You are not your lowest moment.

5. Recovery Is a Sacred Skill
Rest isn’t earned—it’s required. Build your burnout rescue kit now. Use the guided journey anytime your fire dims. It’s not about doing more—it’s about being whole again.

Save this post. Share it with the bright burner in your life. And if you’re in that moment right now… You are not broken. You are just tired.

And you are deeply loved.

The post The Spring of the Survival Always Recoils first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am not giving medical advice or diagnosis. Everything in this video is a theoretical exploration and analysis. If you feel that you are depressed, you must consult a mental health professional and hop on an appropriate treatment plan. But after you do, come back to this video—and let’s dissect your feelings further.

Because sometimes what feels like depression isn’t clinical depression. It’s something else that hurts just as much—but requires a different kind of support.

Here are a few common states that often masquerade as depression:

1. Nervous system shutdown
When your body has been in fight or flight for too long, it may shut down into freeze. You stop feeling things—not because you’re broken, but because your system is trying to protect you. Numbness, fogginess, and flatness can all come from this freeze response.

2. Emotional exhaustion
You’re not sad—you’re depleted. After years of high output and low input, your system crashes. This is what burnout often feels like at the deep end: lifeless, hopeless, done. It mimics depression but often lifts with true rest and repair.

3. Disconnection from desire
When you’ve given up on what you truly want—because you’ve convinced yourself it’s not possible—life starts to feel pointless. That’s not depression. That’s grief for the parts of you that had to go quiet to survive.

4. Suppressed authentic self
If you’re constantly editing yourself to be safe, needed, or likable, your inner self gets buried. That suppression builds pressure over time and can turn into numbness, resentment, or apathy. It can feel like depression, but it’s really a sign you need space to be you.

5. Survival mode burnout
Living from your survival blueprint—hyper-vigilance, over-functioning, proving, protecting—takes a toll. Eventually, you crash. Not because you’re weak, but because survival mode was never meant to be permanent. The collapse afterward looks and feels like depression, but it’s your system begging to shift.

If you’ve already been evaluated by a mental health professional—whether you are in treatment for depression or have been told you don’t meet the clinical criteria—it still never hurts to do your own inner work. In fact, it can be one of the most powerful complements to your healing. Because even if what you’re feeling isn’t depression in a clinical sense… the heaviness, the flatness, the lost spark? It’s real. And it deserves care.

A few ways to begin gently addressing these states:

If your system is in nervous system shutdown → try grounding and gentle reactivation:

• Slow, rhythmic breath (inhale for 4, exhale for 6)
• Cold water on your hands or neck to stimulate the vagus nerve
• Gentle movement: swaying, rocking, slow walking
• Ask yourself: “What do I see? Hear? Feel?”
  These simple acts remind your body: you’re safe now.

If you’re emotionally exhausted → replenish before you push:

• Cancel one thing you don’t have to do this week
• Say “no” where you usually say “yes” out of guilt
• Ask: What feels nourishing—not productive?
• Let yourself do nothing. Don’t apologize for it.
  This isn’t laziness. It’s maintenance.

If you’ve lost touch with your desires → begin desire journaling:

• Ask: What do I want today? Even if it’s just sunlight
• Don’t judge or rationalize the answers
• Reawaken pleasure through small sensory joys: scent, sound, color
  Desire is a muscle. Start light—but start.

If you’ve been suppressing yourself → practice safe expression:

• Free-write without editing
• Voice note yourself saying what you’re afraid to say
• Move your body how it wants—not how it “should”
  Let yourself exist unfiltered, even if only in private. That’s sacred.

If you’ve been trapped in a survival loop → begin belief-level work:

• Notice the “rules” running your life (e.g. “If I rest, I’m lazy”)
• Gently ask: Is this actually true—or just familiar?
• Use somatic or nervous-system-aware tools to shift these at the root
  Because when you stop fighting survival and start rewiring it, energy returns.

Final Reminder

This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about meeting yourself where you are—with compassion and curiosity. Joy doesn’t come from pushing through. It comes from reconnecting in.

The post This Sure Feels Like Depression… But Is It, Really? first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

This isn’t just about circumstances; it’s about the stories you’ve been telling yourself—and how those stories have slowly stolen your joy, your energy, and your sense of peace. It’s time to see clearly what’s really happening beneath the surface.

You gave up on your true desires.

Not because they stopped mattering—but because deep down, you started to believe they were impossible. So you chose “realistic” instead of real. And it drained the joy from your life.

You feel tired all the time—and it’s not just physical.

It’s not about sleep. It’s about spending your energy fighting old beliefs, like “I don’t deserve more” or “It’s too late for me.” That kind of inner battle wears you down. Every. Single. Day.

You’re seeing signs of aging—and they scare you.

Not just because of how you look. But because they whisper: “Maybe it’s too late to have the love or the life you really want.” But those thoughts aren’t truth—they’re fear wearing a mask.

You’ve been doing too much for others.

Giving is beautiful—but only when you have enough to give. Taking care of everyone else while not giving yourself the same care will slowly make you feel empty. You can’t pour from a dry cup, no matter how much you want to.

You’ve been more Doing than Being.

Doing has its place—but it needs balance. Sometimes, you just need to slow down and be. Only in the stillness can you receive what’s already trying to find you.Tools

How to Get Your Zest Back

1. Reconnect with what you want.
Not what’s realistic. Not what’s expected. Just what your heart still secretly hopes for.

2. Give yourself permission to rest.
Not when everything’s done—now. Rest isn’t a reward. It’s fuel.

3. Start saying yes to small pleasures.
The dress you love. The song that makes you move. The walk with no destination. Your joy lives in the small things, too.

4. Stop carrying what isn’t yours.
You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to not fix everything. You matter, too.

5. Shift from willpower to rewiring.
Stop fighting old beliefs. Start changing the survival patterns that keep snapping you back. That’s when energy returns—and life starts flowing again.

The post Why You’re Losing Your Zest for Life (And How To Get It Back) first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.