I had two beliefs, each of which seemed very logical to me. Both were confirmed by my life experience and other less significant understandings of the world. But they didn’t seem to work together; there was no logic in their connection. I was torn between these two beliefs, periodically switching from one to the other, not fully aware of this process. But now, having understood how they are connected, I clearly see that I was jumping from one worldview to another, unsure which one to choose, because both made sense.
The first model: we come into this life to experience specific things. We are always surrounded by souls close to us. Reincarnating, we meet them again, and each time our roles change. Who was a tyrant may become a victim, who was loved may now give their love. Together, we form familial bonds and close friendships. We not only teach each other and help each other develop, but we also give one another the chance to experience different things—experiences we might have chosen before birth. After all, how else would we meet these close souls, meant to give us the experiences we seek?
The second model: in this life, we are creators. We can choose and, by choosing, we create the experiences we want. This is how it works: we are constantly creating our lives and reality by selecting one experience after another. Based on the choices we make, we encounter people who help us experience what we have created.
For me, the discrepancy wasn’t just in the “prescription” of the experiences we choose but also in how I observed people treating us. I often saw how people who had treated us poorly would suddenly begin treating us well, or vice versa, depending on the experience we chose. This made me question whether we really choose our experiences before birth. Additionally, I frequently witnessed people whom we considered very close to us suddenly disappear from our lives, without a trace—even though they might live nearby. Meanwhile, new people would appear—people just as close, even more so—and they would form deeper connections with us than others ever had. It was all very strange…
Then, one Saturday, while walking along a sunlit road, I had a realization that shook me to the core.
I suddenly understood that there is no special circle of “close souls.” There is only one soul—a part of God. This soul is indivisible. It seeks to gain different experiences through physical existence—the full range of experiences available to a human being. And it does so through different people. The sense of “closeness” is a false understanding. It’s an illusion, based on the mistaken belief that we are separate souls. In reality, we are all one soul, like drops of water in the ocean. Though we may appear separate, we flow into each other, and it’s never clear where one drop ends and the other begins. Drop A becomes drop B, and so on.
In life, God lives in every person, experiencing different aspects of existence simultaneously. And God can wish for any experience. All it takes is for God to realize that anything can be desired, and it will be. By creating different conditions, God manifests various experiences through us, attracting the people who will help us experience these desires. The experience we have depends on what we want to experience: if Mary wants to love, she will be given Vasya, whom she begins to love. But if Mary also wants to be loved, and Vasya does not return that love, he will be removed from her life. Of course, this all happens consciously.
For instance, I recently wrote about how a close friend disappeared from my life after 14 years of friendship. I admit, before she disappeared, I felt drained by her constant complaints. I thought to myself that perhaps our relationship had run its course—that I wanted a friend with whom I could create something meaningful, not someone who drained me of my energy. And just like that, the experience I desired no longer matched the experience she was offering. We parted ways at that time.
We choose experiences. We choose some experiences before birth, and we choose others after birth. The key is to understand what we are choosing and to disconnect from the subconscious choices that happen while we sleep. When we are awake and conscious of our choices, God will manifest his magic in our lives, and we will meet again with those whose desires for experience align with ours.
And suddenly, everything made sense. It became simple, logical, and easy to explain.
