If this is what you’ve been going through, this video is for you. Because usually, when I go to sleep, I imagine the things, the experiences, the feelings, I want to feel in life. And a lot of times, I get these inspired ideas through this practice. So last night, as I was falling asleep, I had this idea: which desire did you give up on? And something in that question lit me up. I knew I wanted to turn it into an exercise and share it with you.

Here’s why I’m so excited about this. Our desires, they’re the fuel of our lives. I truly believe that. They’re what keep us alive inside. They give us energy, they give us courage, they move us forward. And while some desires shift as we grow, others, core desires, never go away. Like the desire for love. The desire for intimacy. For connection. For purpose. For fulfillment. These live deep inside us, and when they’re not fulfilled, they don’t disappear. They just ache. Quietly. Consistently.

So I made this exercise for myself, but I’m sharing it with you too. Because maybe you’ve had a desire, one that mattered, that you gave up on. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to bring it back to life.

You’ll need something to write with. Pen and paper, or device and stylus, whatever works. But don’t just think it. Write it. Make it real.

Step one: Write your desire as if it already came true. And then, list at least three things that matter to you about that desire. Why do they matter? What do they say about you? Why are they important? Write it down. Pause this video if you need to. I’ll be right here when you’re ready.

Step two: Ask yourself, what if this desire never comes true? What happens to your life? How does it affect you over time? How would it feel to carry that emptiness with you, quietly, for the rest of your life? Be honest. It’s okay if it brings up sadness or grief. These feelings hold information.

Step three: Go back to the vision of your desire fulfilled. Read it again, feel it in your body. What’s different now? What shifts in you? Do you feel joy? Aliveness? Relief? Peace? Whatever comes up, write it down. You need to see it.

Now close your eyes and imagine this fulfilled life. Breathe it in. If it brings you a sense of joy, peace, love, relief, then this desire is essential for your vitality. You didn’t truly give up on it. It still lives inside you. So if you’ve been telling yourself it’s gone, that’s not the truth. What happened is that somewhere inside, a belief took root, a belief that told you this can’t happen for you. That it’s not possible. That it’s not for you.

But that belief is a lie. The very fact that you have this desire means it’s part of your path. You can have it. You can create it. You can feel it. It’s yours.

When I did this kind of work for myself, I found a path back to my own fire. My own self-worth. My own “I know this is mine, and I’m going to go for it.” And now, I want to help you do the same.

So, if this resonated, I created a free workbook called the Limitless Beliefs. It’s simple, it’s clear, and it’ll help you reconnect with those parts of yourself that are still alive, even if they’ve gone quiet.

Download the workbook. The link is in the description.

You can bring your joy back even if it feels like it’s too late. It’s never too late while we are alive.

Let’s do this together.

The post Why You Feel Lifeless (And How to Bring Your Joy Back) first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

Most of us want to find our way in life… the right way. Not the righteous one, but the one that feels like the way we should be taking. 

So why does going the right way still feel like something is missing?

You’re a good student. A high performer. You’ve walked the logical path—step by step—toward your own version of success and righteousness. But why does it still feel like something’s… off?

Have you found yourself  trying to control everything, to follow the right path? Pick the right college, and then choose the right major. The right job. Find the right partner. The right car. Buy the right house. Make sure that everyone important in our lives thinks well of us. We want no bad opinions. We want everything to follow the “rules”—our rules. No matter if they don’t match the societal rules, these are the rules we feel comfortable around. They are constructed with reason. They are familiar. And if we follow them, maybe we’ll be fine. Safe.

But that brings me to a deeper question: why do I feel the need to live in a way that simply feels “right” to me? What even is “the right way”? Is it the version of “right” that my father tried to teach me? Or the one my mother instilled in me? They are my parents, after all. Their voices still echo in me. Or is the right way the one that society says I should follow? My teachers? My surroundings? 

Or should I follow the “right” that I feel internally? But what if that keeps changing? What if some of these “rights” are outdated and no longer serve me—but I still cling to them out of loyalty or fear? And what if I am dead wrong about my right? 

Can anyone tell me what the right way is – that’s what I was thinking in my late 20-s

Why do I keep returning to the complexity of trying to first understand what the right way is and then to doing that right things? Why don’t I let myself be simple? Why do I keep confusing myself—and others—with my attempts at small, abstract transformations? AM I expecting that if I do it in a specific, so-called, right thing, something magical – even righter – will happen to me? I pass the test? I will be rewarded? 

And then it hit me… 

We are too absorbed by doing the life the right way. I realized how seriously we all take this Matrix game. We’ve become so absorbed in “doing life” that we’ve started living it like a performance. I catch myself taking things far too seriously. I’ve grown attached to a certain identity—a mask I wear. And I wonder… Why?

Sometimes, we spend our whole lives trying to understand this “right thing”. Until we finally get it, there is no right thing… 

INSERT LAST SCENE OF PLEASANTVILLE 

David’s Mom: “When your father was here, I used to think,
‘This was it. This is the way it was always going to be. I had the right house. I had the right car. I had the right life.’”

David: “There is no right house. There is no right car.”

David’s Mom: “How’d you get so smart all of a sudden?”

INSERT LAST SCENE OF PLEASANTVILLE 

Maybe the real “right” thing is: to understand that life isn’t about right or wrong. It just is. It’s a mosaic of contradictions. It holds love and hate, joy and pain, loss and victory, laughter and tears. And love, too—always love. So maybe the right thing is to just try to be driven by it. By love. Sure, this is not going to be always possible, sometimes we need to be driven by other things, too. 

And maybe the right way isn’t something to find or prove—maybe it’s simply to live honestly, authentically, and with as much love as we can muster. Not perfect, not always clear, just real.

And maybe not even look for the right way. 

The post Are you doing the right thing? first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

When you’re drowning in pain and force a smile with words like “I’m fine” or “I’m grateful,” it doesn’t heal you – it abandons you. You can’t lie your way to self-rescue.

The body doesn’t believe it

You can say “I’m worthy” all day long. But if your nervous system is in a freeze, fight, or fawn response… your body’s screaming louder than your affirmations ever will.

It teaches you to bypass, not process

Positive thinking often becomes a mask. You skip the real work – like grief, rage, fear – and try to wallpaper over trauma with sunshine. It doesn’t stick.

It makes failure feel like your fault

Can’t manifest? Can’t feel better? Still stuck? “Maybe I’m just not thinking positive enough…” See the trap? You start blaming yourself for being human.

It’s not powerful – it’s performative

Posting affirmations, journaling goals, repeating mantras… if it’s done from fear, not embodiment – it’s just spiritual cosmetics. The shift you crave lives deeper.

It’s not about thinking better. It’s about feeling safer

Want your beliefs to change? Start where your body actually is – not where your mind wishes you were.

5 simple, real ways to work with pain

5 simple, real ways to work with pain

Say exactly how you feel – out loud

Naming the truth unclogs the emotional pipe. Try: “I feel lost.” “I don’t know what to do.” “Everything feels heavy.” Speaking it removes the shame. That’s the first layer of relief.

Put your hand where it hurts. Literally

Place your hand on your heart, chest, or belly – wherever the despair lives. Stay there. Breathe into your palm. Let your body know you’re present with it, not abandoning it.

Do one small thing that reminds you you’re alive

Take a cold shower. Step barefoot into grass. Drink hot tea and feel it go down. This isn’t distraction. It’s regulation. Despair shrinks when you’re grounded.

Let one person witness you – without fixing you

Despair deepens in isolation. Send a voice note to someone safe. No need to explain or solve. Just: “I’m in it right now. I don’t need advice, just presence.” That shared moment can break the spiral.

Move the despair out – even 1%

Cry. Scream into a pillow. Shake your arms. Hum with your eyes closed. Emotion is energy. Energy moves. Movement means you’re not stuck – you’re processing.

These don’t promise instant happiness. But they do promise something better: relief that’s real. And from there… healing can start.

The post Why “Positive” Thinking Isn’t Working When You Are in Pain first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

I don’t like being angry. I would have preferred to be joyful, light, grateful. But this morning, anger sat heavy on my mind. The first email I saw was from a coaching institute I recently bought a program from — it spoke of abundance and gratitude. That only made me angrier.

It sounds silly. But it didn’t feel silly. It felt… invasive. So I asked myself: Why am I so angry?

Then I remembered.

Yesterday, I had a call with a manager from that coaching institute. I’d canceled the call initially, sensing it would turn into a sales conversation for a program I didn’t want. But they reached out again, saying it was simply a chance to align around my goals. I agreed.

From the first minute, I felt something was off. She interrupted me, steered my story back to her script, insisted she wasn’t selling—but of course, she was. She pressured me to share a vision I normally guard carefully, even with friends. It didn’t feel like an invitation. It felt like a push. She had an agenda, even though she promised she didn’t. I have done sales. I know when I’m being sold to. At one point, because she couldn’t follow my thoughts—or maybe because of my accent—she called in her mentor. She spoke to me as if I were a child. I’m 53.

Still, her offer was semi-compelling. I told her I’d just invested in a very similar, high-ticket program and wanted to go through that first. If I still felt a gap, I’d come back. But instead of respecting that, she dismissed it—‘It seems like our program is not for you, you just need a certificate on the wall,’ she said. In that moment, she decided for me.

When the call ended, I felt dismissed, patronized, downgraded—like I was too small to know my own needs. And when I saw that email this morning—all sweet, spiritual, and ‘grateful’—that’s when the anger rose.

At first, I told myself: Let it go. Be positive. Don’t dwell. But then another voice rose: No. Be authentic. Stay angry. There’s something here. That’s when I realized this anger wasn’t a weakness. It was my boundary speaking.

A boundary I didn’t always have. A boundary I fought to rebuild. This call had broken into that space—the safety and sovereignty I’ve worked hard to reclaim. My anger was pointing to the breach, saying: Pay attention.

And just like that, the anger softened. It wasn’t insecurity. It wasn’t irrational. It was protective. Honest. Loyal.

My anger was my friend. Not a flaw. A signal. A guardian of my wholeness.

Anger’s Unpopular Stigma

Anger has never had good PR. It’s the emotion we’re taught to hide. Soften. Swallow. Get too loud, too sharp, too firm—and suddenly you’re “emotional.” “Aggressive.” “Unhinged.” If you’re angry, you appear uncivil—an accusation that, in today’s world, feels almost like a social plague.

Whole systems have been built to manage it—anger management classes, programs, and protocols. And while they may help people in crisis, the name itself sends a clear message: Anger is a liability. A red flag. A thing you need to control before it controls you. As if anger is always dangerous. As if it’s one step away from destruction.

But is it really?

We’re Still Trying to Get Rid of It

Culturally, we’ve come to see anger as the opposite of growth. The opposite of grace. The opposite of “enlightenment.”

You’ll hear it in spiritual spaces: Let go of your anger. High vibes only. Don’t attract negative energy. We try to burn sage and wish it away. Breathe it out. Gratitude-journal over it. But what if we’re not supposed to get rid of it? What if anger is a message, not a malfunction?

Of course, not all anger work is shallow. But let’s be honest—most people, when they hear “anger management,” aren’t thinking of deep emotional work or healing. What they meet instead, especially in court-mandated programs, workplace interventions, or short-term counseling, is something far more surface-level. These systems are built around one goal: containment.

The primary focus is on regulating the external expression of anger—what you do with it, not what it means. The goal is to prevent harm, avoid disruption, and keep the environment safe. So they teach you to notice the signals—your racing heart, clenched fists, shallow breath. They tell you to step away, count to ten, breathe deeply, reframe your thoughts, calm yourself down. Then what?

The real question is—if we’re only teaching people to package their rage in more acceptable forms, while leaving its root message untouched, are we truly healing anything? Or are we turning people into tightly sealed pressure cookers, holding in everything they were never allowed to feel out loud?

When you silence anger without translating it, it doesn’t go away. It waits. It twists. It goes underground. It turns into resentment. Numbness. Passive aggression. Or shame. Because unspoken power doesn’t disappear—it leaks. Often in ways we don’t expect, and can’t control.

When Anger Is Good

Anger is often the first emotion to arrive when something sacred has been violated. It shows up to protect. To alert. To stand between you and harm. Yes, anger can be explosive—but it’s also instructive. Here’s where it’s not just “okay,” but essential:

1. Anger shows you where your boundary was crossed.
It’s not random. Anger rises when something important gets violated—your time, your values, your dignity. It’s your internal watchdog saying, Hey, this matters.

2. Anger gets you to move.
Unlike sadness, which often pulls you inward, anger pushes you forward. It stirs energy. It calls you to act, to fix, to defend, to reclaim. That fire in your chest? Sometimes, it’s exactly what gets things done.

3. Anger helps you speak up.
When you’re dismissed, overlooked, or treated unfairly, anger gives you the edge to say, No more. It sharpens your voice when the world wants you quiet. It gives you back your spine.

4. Anger clears the fog.
It can cut through confusion. Suddenly, things feel sharper, simpler. You know what’s not okay. You know what you won’t tolerate. Anger has a way of clarifying what really matters.

5. Anger connects you to your truth.
Swallow it too often, and you lose touch with yourself. But let it speak—and something honest shows up. Not rage. Not violence. Just truth. Anger can be the most honest feeling in the room.

6. Anger protects you when you’re healing.
Especially after trauma. When you’ve been stuck in numbness or silence for too long, anger is often the first signal that you’re alive again. That you remember your worth. That you’re no longer willing to be walked over.

7. Anger is how we stand for what’s right.
Not all anger is personal. Sometimes it shows up for someone else—for injustice, for harm, for something bigger than you. That kind of anger? It can be sacred. It moves mountains.

8. Anger creates unity when values are under threat.
In the face of real danger or dishonesty, shared anger can bond people. It says—we care. We won’t back down. We’ll protect what matters.

Anger is not the villain. It’s the alarm system. And sometimes, the rescue crew.

Using Anger as a Tool, Not a Weapon

Anger gets destructive when we try to weaponize it—when we fire it outward without ever stopping to ask what it’s trying to protect.

But anger isn’t here to burn bridges. It’s here to build boundaries. It’s the loudest voice your authenticity has—the one that screams when something’s not safe, not right, not okay. It doesn’t rise to destroy. It rises to protect. To wake you up. And in that heat, it gives you power. The kind that remembers your worth. The kind that doesn’t whisper.

So the next time anger rises, instead of pushing it down or unleashing it, talk to it and ask:

• What are you trying to protect?
• What value of mine is being dishonored?
• What truth are you asking me to see that I’ve been avoiding?
• Are you pointing to a boundary I didn’t know I needed—until now?
• What have I been tolerating that you can no longer let me ignore?
• What part of me have I silenced that you’re finally giving a voice to?

Listening to anger doesn’t mean you let it drive the car. It means you give it a seat at the table. You hear it out. You take its wisdom, not its volatility. That’s how anger becomes a tool—not a tantrum. Not a mask for powerlessness, but a compass for truth.

Anger is not the problem. The real problem is a world that doesn’t want to hear what anger is trying to say—a world that would rather you stay quiet, agreeable, spiritual, grateful, even when something inside you is screaming no. But here’s what I’ve learned: the moments I’ve listened to my anger—really listened—are the moments I’ve taken something back. My voice. My dignity. My direction. My self-respect.

So I don’t want to silence it anymore. I will let it remind me of who I am, and what I will never allow again.

The post Going Naked on Anger first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

Trauma isn’t the real problem. The beliefs it creates in the name of survival are.

Traditional therapy calls them “stories” or a “limiting beliefs” and mostly disregard them as just cognitive constructs, something that we can simply rewrite with certain precision… But that’s not exactly true. 

Let’s go back for a moment. Trauma is usually defined as an emotional response to a distressing event. Something happens that overwhelms your system—your mind, your body, your ability to cope. That disruption isn’t just emotional; it affects how you think, how your body stores memories. 

Most trauma therapies today focus on the memory of the event, or the feelings tied to it. They work to release emotional charge, regulate the nervous system, or even rewire how the brain responds to pain. EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, IFS—these are all valuable tools. But even the best of them often miss the root issue:

Hands down, the least effective approach of all is trying to simply mentally overwrite those stories with a new narrative. If those stories came from the survival protocol itself, you’ll be rewriting them for the rest of your life—and still feel stuck. Because those survival patterns aren’t designed to help you thrive. They’re designed to keep you very, very safe. Too safe to live a life you actually love. Safe enough to never risk pain.

But we need pain. Pain is inevitable if we’re going to grow. Muscles don’t get stronger without first breaking down. Nothing meaningful is learned without uncomfortable repetition. Relationships will hurt sometimes—but the good ones mostly bring joy. Pain isn’t drama. It’s not a flaw. Painful, risky, even dangerous experiences are what give life fire, intensity, and fullness.

Trauma triggers the Survival mechanism—an ancient system hardwired into our biology—that’s only function is to keep us away from being hurt to ensure our survival. In other words: our survival protocol keeps us surviving. But not truly alive.

The survival-driven beliefs

When something painful or threatening happens, your system doesn’t just store the emotional impact. It creates an entire survival protocol—a program designed to protect you from that kind of pain ever again. That program includes feelings, body memories, emotional reactivity…

But at the core of it? Beliefs.

These aren’t just thoughts. They’re rules your nervous system wrote under pressure.  They become your quiet law. Sometimes—if you are self aware enough—you recognize them for what they are, but sometimes they run in stealth mode ruling our life without us even knowing. 

These beliefs are not conscious. They’re protective. And they’re powerful. They’re not formed out of logic—they’re formed out of strong emotional reaction to a traumatizing event. The event itself may not even be dramatic enough to be considered traumatic. But it will launch the Survival protocol—if only it decides that this event is big enough to threaten our survival. 

And that’s the part most trauma work skips over. We try to rewrite the story. See it as some ridiculous thought that came out from a seemingly irrelevant event. And that’s true, sometimes these beliefs come out as unexpected conclusions, but that’s where the beauty and power of our Survival Protocol comes to play. 

Here is the thing. Our Survival Protocol is not just a collection of stories our mind creates to keep us protected. It’s a massive, incredibly powerful built-in system meant to make sure we survive—not just as individuals, but as a species. It’s way beyond us. It’s built into our DNA, developed through millennia of survival instincts passed down through generations.

And for it to be that effective, it has to be extremely powerful. And smart. It holds memories of threats on a cellular level and has evolved over millions of years to generate shields for human existence instantly—and in incredibly intelligent ways. It doesn’t just give us orders in the form of “don’t touch a hot skillet” or “stick a fork into an electrical socket” like parents do. We all know that when we told not to do something—what do we want to do? exactly the opposite… No. It creates narrative so sneakily powerful, that it makes sure we don’t even come close to anything that potentially can cause us harm. 

What characterizes them – generalization, globalization, their grandiose nature—”All of them are…”, “I will always”, “I will never”, “I am too much…”, “I am not enough…”

Beliefs like:

• “All men are liars.”
• “Women only want me for my money.”
• “I can’t do it.”
• “I’m not persuasive enough as a leader.”
• “I’ll never be successful.”
• “I’ll never lose the weight.”
• “I will always be alone.”

It’s brilliant, isn’t it? Imagine your parents teaching you not to smoke by telling you: “You will never be able to inhale properly” Not immediately elegant analogy, but darn close to what the Survival Protocol does to us. Sneaky bastard.

So, we determined that limiting beliefs are the stories that our Survival Protocol keeps us away from harm. So once we know this, can we use our awareness and willpower to dig them out for good?

Not so fast!

The major issue with limiting beliefs that come as a result of intense trauma is their connection to traumatic experience through emotional response. The protective story—what we later identify as a limiting belief—is created instantaneously as a part of the Survival Response to the trauma. And gets merged with the emotion on the physical (or somatic) level, or simply, stored in our bodies.

And here’s the amazing truth about limiting beliefs. We are accustomed to think that they are of cognitive nature, or thoughts. But they’re not just thoughts. They’re something deeper—a mix of emotion and cognition stored in the body. What I call: Emognitive.

Limiting beliefs are Emognitive records, written into our bodies so we remember, so we keep them, and so we pass it to future generations. So we stay protected… And the funny sad thing about it that the Survival Protocol doesn’t care if they are also keeping us from going for what we want, allowing success, money, and love into our lives. There is no such thing for our Survival Protocol as “too protected.”

So for the Survival protocol limiting beliefs are not limiting at all. They are absolute necessity, the wall, the castle with the dragon that will keep enemies away. We call those beliefs limiting because they keep us stuck in lousy jobs, dysfunctional relationships, or completely alone, because there is one thing that’s scarier of them all – terra incognita. Or the unknown!

Yet we try. We journal, meditate, we do therapy, personal development courses, taro readings, and ayahuasca, only to get back to the same wall we keep bumping into. And the worst part of this journey is that after rounds and rounds and rounds of endless attempts to rewrite limiting beliefs using words alone we fail over and over again, a new belief arises that is the most damaging—the belief that we are broken beyond repair.”

Is there hope?

Absolutely! We failed to fix our limiting beliefs because we tried to use the power of our mind to address complex programming of almost prehistoric magnificence. These beliefs weren’t created to make you suffer. They were built to keep you alive. Not just as an individual, but as part of a species wired for survival. These limiting beliefs are of the same nature as adrenaline rush when we need to run from a tiger in a Jungle. Your nervous system doesn’t just respond to threats for your sake—it’s carrying generations of inherited wisdom about what not to do to stay safe, avoid rejection, escape harm, and preserve belonging.

That’s the brilliance—and the trap. But there is a way out!

You CAN reprogram your Survival protocol, at least the parts of it that no longer serve you as a free individual that wants to build their life the way that will make them the happiest, not just the safest.

I developed the Emognitive Method to deal with stubborn unwanted beliefs. This Method was built for this exact reason. It doesn’t just work with the body, or the mind, or the emotion. It addresses the entire survival imprint—the emotional, cognitive, and somatic elements working together to protect you.

Here is the Emognitive framework:

• Clearly identify what limiting belief keeps you stuck
• Where is it stored in your body and which emotions is it riding off
• Have a replacement rule ready to fill the empty spot in the Survival Protocol when you clear out the belief that doesn’t serve you
• And do the replacement.

There are a few more layers involved. It sounds simple, but this work is not always straightforward.

It’s not just about healing the past—It’s about re-coding the system that defines how you respond to life.

Nobody told you this, but

You can take control over your Survival Protocol. You have got the power. You just didn’t know it. Now you do.

So, what do you choose?

The post What They Will NEVER Tell You About Limiting Beliefs first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

The job market is unstable. We all know it. Policy changes, federal layoffs, hiring freezes—there are plenty of factors at play. But that knowledge doesn’t help when you’re the one trying to survive it. It doesn’t pay your bills. And it certainly doesn’t restore your sense of worth.

So today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t often get airtime. Something that lives behind the curtain of all these job-search posts:

The invisible toll of not feeling needed.

Yes, we need income. Yes, we need security. But beyond that—fundamentally—we need validation. Not the fluffy, surface-level kind. I mean the deep, soul-anchoring validation that comes from doing work that matters, from knowing your contribution is valuable, purposeful, and seen. For most of us, that comes through our profession—whether in a job, a business, or a project that impacts people at scale.

You can’t replace that kind of validation with love from your family, no matter how caring they are. You can’t swap it out with affirmations or hobbies. It’s something deeper. And when it’s gone for long enough, it starts to erode a person from the inside.

So here’s what I’m asking: If someone in your life has been out of work for more than three months—don’t wait for them to ask for help. That’s often the point when doubt starts to set in. Not just doubt about the job market, but about their worth.

They may not talk about it. They may not even realize it themselves. But they’ll show signs. They might seem more irritable. More tired. More withdrawn. Maybe they’re drinking more, eating more, overspending, or constantly distracting themselves. Those are symptoms of something deeper: a crumbling sense of value.

And the worst part? Most people won’t say a word until they’re deep in that hole.

I’m not just guessing. I know. I’ve been there. I’ve been looking for a job—in my field, as a product manager—for almost two years. I’ve had contract work and built meaningful things in the meantime, but the silence from the job market? It still cuts deep.

Because when the world doesn’t respond to your effort, it chips away at something deeper. It starts to feel like you don’t matter—as a human being. That your gifts, your talent, your experience, your passion… all the things that make you you… somehow don’t count anymore. As if what doesn’t really matter, in the eyes of the world, is you.

That belief—that you’re no longer needed—is one of the most destructive ideas that can live in a human brain. It breaks something essential.

Thankfully, I’m self-aware and resilient. But even so, I’ve felt the cracks. And I know others feel them, too. Not everyone can name it. But it’s there.

So I’m asking you to do something. Anything.

• Reach out to someone you know is struggling. Don’t wait for them to say they need help.
• If you can’t connect them with a job, connect them with belief.
• Call a recruiter on their behalf. All the recruiters you know.
• Remind them what they’re good at. Don’t offer pity. Offer partnership.

Be there for them in any way you can. And remember—if they’ve gotten to the point of asking for help, they may already be deep in the doubt. Don’t wait for the ask. Show up before that.

People need to feel needed again. Not just loved—needed.

And today, you might be the one who can give that back to someone else.

The post What nobody tells you when they lose their job first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

If you want to go weeks without contacting your family, LET YOU.

If you are OK to not ask for help, LET YOU.

If you want to have that comfort food without feeling guilty, LET YOU.

If you don’t want to commit to exercise, LET YOU.

If you want to do something that they say means you are putting you first, LET YOU.

If you want to do or feel something without shame or guilt once, twice, or more, LET YOU.

If you want to tell someone what You wanted to tell them for years, LET YOU.

If you want to remember the pain and finally feel it, LET YOU.

If you finally want to act, feel, and think like true you – LET YOU.

Your thoughts, feelings, and desires deserve space. Regardless of what others say.

Get familiar with you. Claim the space. And then –

LET YOU – be.

Inspired by https://www.instagram.com/cassie.phillips.letthem/

The post Just Let You first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

Understanding Time Stretch

The perception of time has always fascinated scientists and philosophers. One intriguing aspect is “time stretch,” where time appears to SLOW DOWN OR ELONGATE. Researchers have explored this phenomenon through temporal illusions, uncovering that attention and emotions influence time perception.
Neuroscientists like Warren Meck propose an internal clock mechanism that involves certain parts of the brain. Meck believed that time perception distortion is exemplified by the curious phenomenon of time seeming to pass faster as we age.

++SOUND EXCERPT.++

Altered states of consciousness provide further insights. Studies by psychologist Marc Wittmann reveal that meditation and mindfulness practices can MODIFY TIME PERCEPTION, making it feel slower and enhancing presence. He said in an interview for Felt Time — The Psychology of How We Perceive Time that “The most important thing may be that you get out of autopilot mode in everyday life. That’s what we all have, that we are constantly stressed, and then time goes by very fast.”

He strongly believed that practicing mindfulness in terms of time perception is highly beneficial for good mental health.
Scientists such as Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity have revolutionized our understanding of time and its relationship with space. The theory predicts that time can be influenced by gravity and relative motion, demonstrating that time itself can stretch or contract depending on the context.

LEVERAGING TIME STRETCH FOR PRODUCTIVITY

In a world where every minute counts, finding ways to make the most of our precious hours becomes paramount. Time is money, as the famous saying goes. By bending our perception of time to accomplish more, we not only gain additional opportunities to engage in activities we enjoy but also practically transform it into income. So, how can we leverage the power of time stretch to supercharge our productivity? Without further ado, here are some practical strategies you can start implementing right away:

1. Find the Perfect Sleeping Conditions

Achieving optimal sleep conditions is essential for maximizing rest and reducing the time spent sleeping while maintaining high-quality sleep. By creating an ideal sleep environment, you can ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF YOUR SLEEP and wake up feeling refreshed, allowing you to start your day earlier and make the most of your mornings. That leads us to the next one…

2. Optimize Your Circadian Rhythms

Understand your energy patterns and work with them. Align your most demanding tasks with your PEAK ENERGY LEVELS. By maximizing your energy, you’ll accomplish more in less time.

3. Master Time Management

Develop effective time management strategies. Set clear GOALS, PRIORITIES, AND DEADLINES, and utilize productivity tools. By organizing your time smartly, you’ll unlock the potential of time stretch and boost your productivity.

4. Create a Focused Environment

Set yourself up for success by minimizing distractions. Create a dedicated workspace that’s free from interruptions, allowing you to dive DEEP INTO YOUR TASKS. When you’re in the zone, time tends to fly, making you more productive.

5. Embrace Time Blocking

Time blocking is your new best friend! Allocate specific TIME BLOCKS for different tasks or activities. This STRUCTURED APPROACH will keep you focused and help you make the most of each moment.

6. Cultivate Deep Work

Dive into the realm of deep work. Set aside uninterrupted periods for intense and undistracted work. When you’re in a state of DEEP CONCENTRATION, time seems to fly by, and your productivity skyrockets.

7. Find Your Flow Activities

Discover tasks or projects that make you lose track of time. Engage in activities that align with your PASSIONS AND SKILLS, immersing yourself in a state of flow. Time will stretch, and productivity will soar.

8. Unleash the Pomodoro Technique

Ever heard of the Pomodoro Technique? It’s a game-changer! Work in FOCUSED BURSTS, typically 25 minutes, followed by short breaks. This time-constrained approach creates a sense of urgency, boosting your efficiency and making time seem MORE PRODUCTIVE. Short breaks rejuvenate your mind, maintain focus, and prevent burnout. When you return to work, you’ll feel refreshed and ready to tackle tasks more efficiently.

9. Layering

The concept of layering revolves around making the most of small pockets of time throughout the day by combining tasks or activities. By identifying opportunities to layer what you need to do, you can OPTIMIZE YOUR TIME UTILIZATION and accomplish more in less time. This practice extends beyond basic activities and can be applied to various aspects of your daily routine.

10. Learn to See How Other People Steal Our Time

Being mindful of how other people can unintentionally consume our time is crucial for protecting our productivity and prioritizing our own tasks. Recognizing that our time is VALUABLE AND FINITE helps us establish boundaries and make intentional choices about how we interact with others.

11. Keep Track of Time Usage Throughout the Day

Maintaining a record of your time usage can be a game-changer in identifying areas where time is being wasted and opportunities to improve efficiency. By tracking how you spend your time, you GAIN VALUABLE INSIGHTS into your habits and behaviors, enabling you to make informed decisions to optimize your daily routines.

12. Practice Awareness

When we cultivate a state of mindfulness and conscious presence, we become more attuned to the present moment, enhancing our ability to fully engage with the tasks at hand. By BEING AWARE of our thoughts, emotions, and external stimuli, we develop a HEIGHTENED SENSE OF FOCUS and concentration. This heightened state of awareness enables us to make the most of our time by eliminating distractions and unnecessary mental clutter.

WOOSH

This concludes my exploration of the concept of effective time stretch, which holds the potential to revolutionize how we perceive and utilize time. Remember, you have the power to bend time to your advantage! Leave me a comment if you think I missed any productive advice on time stretch.

Until next time, take care and continue to unlock your true productivity potential.

The post 12 ways to expand your time first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

First, for the sake of being in agreement with the terminology, let’s establish what exactly we are talking about. The phenomenon of ‘Not knowing what we don’t know’ is also known as the ‘Dunning-Kruger Effect.’ It’s a cognitive bias in which individuals (commonly with low ability or knowledge in a particular domain) tend to Overestimate their competence and believe they are more skilled or knowledgeable than they actually are. 

This bias usually occurs because these individuals lack the expertise to accurately assess their abilities, leading to inflated self-assessments. Surprisingly, the very term ‘The Dunning-Kruger Effect’ is relatively young, although I guess everything is fairly young in analytical psychology. The term arose in 1999 when David Dunning and Justin Kruger first described the phenomenon in their study. Their research found that people who performed poorly on tasks or lacked knowledge in a specific area were more likely to overestimate their performance or knowledge compared to those who performed well.

Ultimately, the Dunning-Kruger effect means that as individuals gain more expertise and knowledge in a particular area, they tend to become more accurate in their self-assessments.

In order to make the Dunning-Kruger effect instrumental for everyday success, we first need to outline the ways we can recognize it in ourselves and others: 

• Overconfidence without considering potential shortcomings.
• Reluctance to seek feedback and difficulty in self-reflection.
• Ignorance of complexity or evidence that contradicts one’s self-assessments.
• Unwillingness to learn because of a belief they already know enough.
• IllUsory superiority and lack of humility towards others’ knowledge or abilities.
• Inflated self-assessments of competence or accomplishments, without factual evidence.
• Dismissing others’ insights and inability to follow

Interestingly enough, the Dunning-Kruger effect not only describes the people who possess insufficient knowledge in some areas,  but also those who do know quite a lot. These individuals might Underestimate the extent of their expertise relative to others.

These are some other the signs of the effect showing itself in the ‘knowledgeable’ bunch:

• The curse of knowledge: Ultimately, this refers to experts having a hard time understanding why novices find it difficult to grasp complex concepts, leading to frustration and impatience. This may be a predicament for anyone dealing with subordinates or being a parent.
  • This reminds me of my father, who expected me, a 5-year-old, to understand everything as quickly as him, a 37-year-old. 
• Lack of exposure: Knowledgeable individuals might be unaware of how little others know about their particular field because they primarily interact with people who share their level of expertise.
  • This also brings to mind another person from my close circle who felt genuinely ashamed when he noticed that someone couldn’t grasp certain ideas immediately. What seemed simple to him could be complex to others. By the way, he later became a university professor of economics, so beware, you may run into a professor like this. Don’t worry, if they think you are an idiot, it may just mean they caught the fire of the Dunning-Kruger syndrome. 
• Overconfidence in expertise: We’ve seen this too, where people with substantial knowledge may become overconfident about their expertise, leading them to underestimate the need for continuous learning and growth.
• Impostor syndrome: which stands for downplaying or dismissing one’s accomplishments, apprehensive self-doubt, hard times internalizing their success, and avoiding new challenges.

Dunning-Kruger effect also manifests in the area of Spirituality, where Spiritual Novices may overestimate their knowledge, and spiritual gurus may fall into the grandiose sensation of their closeness to God, leading to an inflated sense of self and a belief that they are spiritually superior to others. 

The effect offers a fascinating insight into the paradoxical relationship between Confidence and competence. This psychological phenomenon reveals that less knowledgeable people can possess incredible confidence, leading to, although unrealistic but very useful in any sort of achievements, high self-images. This can result in the less knowledgeable group sometimes achieving more due to their unwavering confidence. On the other hand, more knowledgeable individuals may delay starting new ventures due to a constant fear that they don’t know enough to undertake something significant.

Clearly, the phenomenon of not knowing what we don’t know is sneaky, and overcoming its influence goes beyond common sense and self-awareness. The Dunning-Kruger effect is a mental and spiritual blind spot that hinders genuine self-assessment, fostering an illusion of competence despite incomplete knowledge. 

Now, you see how important it is to understand the Dunning-Kruger effect and its various implications. 

While the concept itself is relatively straightforward to understand, the psychological mechanisms and cognitive processes that underlie the phenomenon are intricate and Multifaceted.

So, the way I see it, it very much resembles narcissism, which, in its core, is having a blind spot in your own perception of self. Just like narcissists, those who fall into the Dunning-Kruger trap are not bad people. They are just blinded – by the false perception of their knowledge and therefore their greatness or smallness.

Of course, the Dunning-Kruger effect is not a result of a personality disorder but arises from a lack of metacognitive skills, just a cognitive bias, or simple misunderstanding. Or, rather, I should say, Complex misunderstanding.

The complexity comes from the interplay of various factors, such as metacognition (the ability to reflect on one’s cognitive processes), self-awareness, emotional intelligence, cognitive biases, and the nature of the domain being assessed. It’s not merely a matter of people making simple errors in judgment; rather, it involves intricate cognitive processes that influence how we perceive and evaluate our own abilities and the abilities of others.

You may know someone with an exaggerated perception of their knowledge or recognize this trait in yourself. People can also have knowledge but minimize its value. Surprisingly, you may display traits of both types!

Human behavior is complex, and we all exhibit different cognitive biases depending on the context. Leveraging the Dunning-Kruger effect requires a balanced approach.

How to Leverage the Dunning-Kruger effect

In my (humble) opinion, the first thing we all can do is careful introspection, awareness, and sincerity. Don’t judge yourself or others who might have fallen into the Dunning-Kruger pit; sometimes, we just get blind-spotted. Embrace curiosity and inquisitiveness; we’re all on a path of growth, starting somewhere, right?

Here are 10 principles to follow to avoid falling into the Dunning-Kruger abyss. Apply these to yourself and others as needed, remembering that you can be your own obnoxious know-it-all in your internal narrative, so the rules that apply to others also apply to you.: 

1. Build Respect and Empathy

Approach all interactions cautiously, recognizing that everyone has unique perspectives and experiences. Respect and acknowledge others’ and your own expertise and strengths..

2. Offer Gentle Guidance and Positive Reinforcement

In your own internal conversations or when offering guidance or sharing knowledge with others, be mindful of your tone and language to avoid being condescending. Positive feedback and recognition are imperative for anyone’s success, including your own. 

3. Encourage Curiosity and further Skill Development without having excessive expectations

Foster an environment where curiosity and learning are celebrated and encouraged. Welcome all discoveries without shame or doubt in case any blank knowledge spots are highlighted.

4. Avoid Heated Debates or Arguments

When encountering resistance or impatience, try to turn the conversation into an observation of all presented opinions rather than seeking to impose your own truth. We all know, the Truth is a weird and elusive animal, who’s like a chameleon, capable of changing colors. Develop awareness of situations where a constructive approach serves better, but don’t dismiss peremptory statements, as they may appear repulsive at first, but may still contain reason.

5. Focus on Incremental Progress and Set Realistic Goals

Splitting work into measurable steps helps with planning, progress visibility, and self-reflection. This approach fosters a balanced view of achievements, especially for those who tend to overmaximize success. 

Celebrating efforts and incremental progress, while reflecting with compassion on challenges, aids in developing a realistic understanding of one’s abilities

6. Encourage and Seek Knowledge Sharing

Don’t remain in a vacuum, even if you are introverted like myself. Bouncing ideas off other people helps with validation of such ideas and your thinking direction. Just the idea of sharing your thoughts implies that there is a notion that there is always room for additional knowledge, and it works both ways. Speak up and let others talk. You can teach, but you can also learn. Remember the balanced approach? 

7. Encourage Self-Reflection

Reflection is a vast concept, essential for combating the Dunning-Kruger effect. Engage in productive and compassionate self-reflection to find balance. Acknowledge any arrogance or self-doubt internally to overcome this cognitive bias effectively. 

8. Assign Diverse Roles

Develop an awareness of your strengths and areas of growth, and properly assign your own or group roles and tasks based on this knowledge. This may facilitate success and reduce the chances of errors, thereby increasing confidence and improving awareness of learning opportunities. 

9. Provide Compassionate Mentorship

It includes supportive and constructive feedback, gently highlighting growth opportunities, and approaching extreme views with kindness. This advice applies to others, groups, and yourself. Be your own compassionate mentor, not a harsh one. Patience and support are essential cornerstones for overcoming the Dunning-Kruger effect

And last but not least, and maybe the most important strategy is to…

10. Developing Humility

…with others or yourself. Consistently recognizing our humility and embracing the ongoing learning process makes us kinder to ourselves and others. There’s no shame in lacking knowledge or believing you know more than others. This very shame veils us from the simple truth that knowledge, although finite, is beyond any human’s complete comprehension and, for that matter, is as good as infinite. It’s a never-ending stream – beautiful and fulfilling. 

Striking a balance between recognizing what we don’t know and maintaining confidence in our abilities is crucial. The Dunning-Kruger effect prompts healthy questioning and deeper understanding of others and life itself. It serves as a catalyst for growth and discovery. But please remember, people are complex, influenced by various factors. Cultivate empathy, recognize each individual’s worth. In other words…

Be kind to each other.

The post Misunderstood Genius? This Explains Everything first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.

But to answer this question, let’s embark on an exploration of the subject of REVISION.

THE CONCEPT OF REVISION

What is revision? 

Revision, in this context, refers to a technique where we consciously REVISIT OUR MEMORIES and intentionally reinterpret them or even reenact them in a more positive light. The idea is to modify our perception of past events, emphasizing positive aspects and diminishing negative emotions associated with them. By doing so, we can potentially heal trauma, improve our self-image, boost confidence, and even RESHAPE OUR FUTURE OUTCOMES. 

IS IT TRUE? 

While revision techniques may sound like a self-help concept, there is a growing body of scientific research that supports its potential effectiveness. I found some NOTABLE STUDIES that have explored the concept of memory reconsolidation and its implications for revision.

One significant study conducted by Elizabeth J. Phelps (of Harvard University) explored MEMORY RECONSOLIDATION. The study found that memories can be modified when they are retrieved, suggesting the possibility of altering our past perceptions. This research sheds light on the adaptability of memories and provides a scientific basis for the effectiveness of revision techniques.<EXCERPT>

In addition to memory reconsolidation, other studies have examined the phenomenon of MEMORY DISTORTION and the reconstructive nature of our recollections. Psychologist Elizabeth F. Loftus (University of California, Irvine) conducted pioneering research in this area, showing that our memories can be influenced and distorted by various factors such as suggestion and misinformation. <EXCERPT

So, looks like changing what we remember our past events or how we remember them is possible? 

Research by Dr. Karim Nader (Neuroscientist, McGill University) has focused on MEMORY REACTIVATION and updating. Dr. Nader’s experiments have shown that when memories are reactivated, they become temporarily unstable or SUSCEPTIBLE TO CHANGE. <EXCERPT>

WOW, pretty wild!

Another influential study of conducted by Dr. Daniel Schacter (Harvard University), a prominent memory researcher explored the phenomenon of constructive memory. The research demonstrated that our memories are not perfect replicas of past events but are rather RECONSTRUCTED AND INFLUENCED by various factors such as expectations and emotions. <EXCERPT>

WHY ISN’T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT IT ?!

Well, they have been, actually.

Author and speaker Tony Robbins has spoken extensively about the power of reinterpreting past events and reframing them to empower oneself. He believes that by CHANGING OUR PERSPECTIVE on the past, we can transform our beliefs and create a more positive self-image. 

Psychologist and author Dr. Joe Dispenza who’s work combines neuroscience, epigenetics, and spirituality, also emphasizes the importance of revisiting and revising memories to break free from limiting beliefs. 

Neville Goddard, a renowned author and lecturer, explored the concept of revision and its potential for restructuring our past memories. He believed that our INTERPRETATIONS OF PAST EVENTS, rather than the events themselves, play a crucial role in shaping our beliefs and subsequent actions. Through the practice of revision, we have the ability to consciously revisit these memories and modify our perception of them, leading to a transformation of our present circumstances and the CREATION OF A DESIRED FUTURE.

Goddard talked about vividly experiencing the revised version of the past as if it were happening in the present moment. By immersing ourselves in the feeling of the DESIRED OUTCOME, we imprint new thought patterns in our subconscious mind. With consistent practice and a firm conviction in the power of the mind, revision can bring about profound shifts, transform our present reality and MANIFEST A DESIRED FUTURE. 

Here;s what Nevile Goddard talked about Revision.

<NEVILLE GODDARD>

THE TECHNIQUE

So, basically, set aside dedicated time for reflection, choose a quiet and comfortable space where you can focus on revisiting your memories without distractions. Calm and peaceful environment may help.

Next, identify specific memories that you believe have had a significant impact on your self-image. Just to be safe, maybe it’s a good idea to start with less emotionally charged memories, gradually moving towards more challenging ones. 

As you revisit each memory, consciously choose to reinterpret it in a more positive light to create a more empowering narrative.

It’s important to approach this process with self-compassion and understanding. Remember that the goal is not to deny or invalidate your past emotions but to make your personal story MORE POWERFUL. 

SO, CAN WE CHANGE THE PAST? 

Since our perception of the past is predominantly constructed through the lens of our memories, which, as studies show, are undeniably susceptible to change, memory serves as a critical link between our present selves and the events that have shaped our lives. However, it is far from an accurate and objective record. As time passes, our memories undergo a process of reconstruction, influenced by our evolving beliefs, perceptions, and the information we encounter. Today’s journey has revealed that we have the ability to INTENTIONALLY MODIFY OUR MEMORIES.

If we can indeed modify our memories, it means that we can also modify our version of the past. After all, the past we know and the past that has shaped us into who we are is the one stored in our memories. It is THE ONLY PAST we have access to. In essence, the fluidity of memory allows us to practically change our perception of the past through memory revision. This not only impacts our understanding of ourselves but also influences our relationship with the world around us.

In conclusion, OUR MEMORIES, being the primary source of our perception of the past, ARE NOT FIXED. They undergo constant reconstruction and are subject to modification. We do have the capacity to intentionally modify our memories and, as a result, shape our perception of the past. So why not TAKE THE DRIVER’S SEAT in this process?

There are numerous tutorials on how to approach the process of revision out there. If you decide to explore revision techniques, remember to approach them with an open mind and realistic expectations. Embrace the power of SELF-REFLECTION, REINTERPRETATION, AND THE POTENTIAL FOR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION.

Until next time, take care and continue to shape your reality with self-compassion.

The post Is Changing Your Past Possible? first appeared on UpGreatly - UpGreat Yourself!.