You wander through the world, touching other people. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s hot. Occasionally it’s cold. At times, it’s warm and gentle. Sometimes it even feels like it’s forever. But time passes, and you’re on the road again. Sometimes you settle in the mud at the bottom, just to find a place to rest. But if the fire still burns, then nothing else is needed—only to find a flame that would warm your heart. A flame you would want to protect.
We often get disappointed. Is that bad? Not at all. It only speaks to a wonderful trait—the ability to be charmed. And the stronger the disappointment, the more magical the charm was. Isn’t that right?
Marriage, family, serious relationships—these are beautiful. But you can’t search for serious relationships. You can’t look for someone to marry. You can only meet a close person. Someone who will become close… And what form the relationship will take—whether legal or not—is almost irrelevant. But if sex begins with a thought, then what about relationships? Doesn’t it start with flirting? However, “flirting” isn’t quite the right word… It’s more of a mutual attraction. And that, in turn, is impossible without a personal meeting.
There are words that must be said. You part ways with a person, but inside you live a couple of phrases that will torment you until you release them. It’s not necessarily that the person they’re meant for should hear them… And it’s not even necessary for anyone to hear them at all. They must be said, otherwise the circle won’t be completed, the period won’t be placed. Of course, it’s always better when they’re said to the specific person, but the importance lies in the saying… If they need to, they will find the person they are meant for… And if not – then…
But here they are – quietly curled up like a fluffy cat, waiting to pounce. They will come, like dawn. Like a tide, like morning dew. Quietly, but perceptibly.
They carry feelings – these quiet last words. And who must one be to deny a person these last words? The last ones in the history of two people.
Perhaps you will never read these words. Well, it’s not meant to be for you to meet them. But I will still say them.
I still haven’t learned to love in such a way that the purity of this love disarms pain and fear. Mine and that of the one I love. You might have thought anything, but I tried. I was ready to go through it together, both long and hard, as well as short and easy. I am very sorry that you had to act dishonestly. I always cared and thought about you. And I continue to care and think. And even if it turns out that all of this was an artificially created illusion, I will still remain honest – at least to myself.
Only the depth of relationships can give people the chance to taste their true essence. The taste of life.
