Lately, I’ve been seeing a wave of vulnerable, honest posts on LinkedIn—people sharing that they’ve lost their jobs and are searching, often for months. And these aren’t people lacking experience or drive. I’m talking about smart, deeply capable, passionate professionals—young and seasoned, credentialed and skilled—posting, sometimes pleading, for a chance to work again.
The job market is unstable. We all know it. Policy changes, federal layoffs, hiring freezes—there are plenty of factors at play. But that knowledge doesn’t help when you’re the one trying to survive it. It doesn’t pay your bills. And it certainly doesn’t restore your sense of worth.
So today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t often get airtime. Something that lives behind the curtain of all these job-search posts:
The invisible toll of not feeling needed.
Yes, we need income. Yes, we need security. But beyond that—fundamentally—we need validation. Not the fluffy, surface-level kind. I mean the deep, soul-anchoring validation that comes from doing work that matters, from knowing your contribution is valuable, purposeful, and seen. For most of us, that comes through our profession—whether in a job, a business, or a project that impacts people at scale.
You can’t replace that kind of validation with love from your family, no matter how caring they are. You can’t swap it out with affirmations or hobbies. It’s something deeper. And when it’s gone for long enough, it starts to erode a person from the inside.
So here’s what I’m asking: If someone in your life has been out of work for more than three months—don’t wait for them to ask for help. That’s often the point when doubt starts to set in. Not just doubt about the job market, but about their worth.
They may not talk about it. They may not even realize it themselves. But they’ll show signs. They might seem more irritable. More tired. More withdrawn. Maybe they’re drinking more, eating more, overspending, or constantly distracting themselves. Those are symptoms of something deeper: a crumbling sense of value.
And the worst part? Most people won’t say a word until they’re deep in that hole.
I’m not just guessing. I know. I’ve been there. I’ve been looking for a job—in my field, as a product manager—for almost two years. I’ve had contract work and built meaningful things in the meantime, but the silence from the job market? It still cuts deep.
Because when the world doesn’t respond to your effort, it chips away at something deeper. It starts to feel like you don’t matter—as a human being. That your gifts, your talent, your experience, your passion… all the things that make you you… somehow don’t count anymore. As if what doesn’t really matter, in the eyes of the world, is you.
That belief—that you’re no longer needed—is one of the most destructive ideas that can live in a human brain. It breaks something essential.
Thankfully, I’m self-aware and resilient. But even so, I’ve felt the cracks. And I know others feel them, too. Not everyone can name it. But it’s there.
So I’m asking you to do something. Anything.
- Reach out to someone you know is struggling. Don’t wait for them to say they need help.
- If you can’t connect them with a job, connect them with belief.
- Call a recruiter on their behalf. All the recruiters you know.
- Remind them what they’re good at. Don’t offer pity. Offer partnership.
Be there for them in any way you can. And remember—if they’ve gotten to the point of asking for help, they may already be deep in the doubt. Don’t wait for the ask. Show up before that.
People need to feel needed again. Not just loved—needed.
And today, you might be the one who can give that back to someone else.
