Love is openness. When the heart is open, there are no defenses, you are laid bare… Such openness implies total trust in the world. And in my life, I’ve never had problems with such openness. But at first, I was just very lucky: I hardly encountered people who would take advantage of this openness. But times change.
I am still open. I find it easy to fall in love – because I am open. And a couple of times in my life, I met men who were open to me. But men are much more pragmatic. Even when they are open, they don’t forget to assert themselves and keep something for themselves, always taking more than they give…
Today I realized one thing: I simply am not being opened up to. Men don’t open up to me. Don’t trust? No, just don’t want to… Although who could be safer than a person who has been turned inside out so many times… I won’t be able to hurt them. Won’t take advantage. I’ll leave faster, but won’t harm. It’s not about trust…
The essence of the idea that “one always loves, while the other allows themselves to be loved” – is precisely in the phenomenon of openness. When one is open, it’s not necessary to open up in return. You can simply reach out, lying on the warm sand, and pluck coconuts and bananas from the tree branch, while someone open is toiling away, growing tropical plants on rocky soil. You need to be an amazing, strong person to remain as open as the other, equally open without closing up, continuing to trust, continuing to give oneself to Love.
“Love was strong, but, still, pride won…” = I really wanted to open up, so much. But the fear of pain, the fear of being possessed when you leap into this abyss of boiling milk and roses, memories of pain already experienced, fear of disappearing into this pain, makes you close up… Pride is the fear of losing oneself… It’s impossible not to lose oneself, fully opening up to Love. That’s the essence of love – losing oneself as an individual. But not as individuality.
Individuality (spirituality) in Love strengthens, perfects, crystallizes, becomes more transparent. “In my humble understanding,” Love is the most powerful spiritual practice on Earth, one that not every even bold being is capable of daring. True love. Love is self-renunciation, love is self-sacrifice.
You wander through the world, touching other people. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s hot. Sometimes it’s cold. Sometimes it’s warm and gentle. Sometimes it even feels like forever. But time passes, and you’re on the move again. Sometimes you settle like silt at the bottom, just to find shelter. But if the fire still burns inside, then nothing else is needed – just to find the same flame that warmed your heart. One that you want to preserve.
The Magic of Disappointment
We often get disappointed. Is that a bad thing? Not at all. Disappointment reveals a wonderful quality – the ability to be charmed, to be deeply touched. The stronger the disappointment, the more magical the charm was. Isn’t that true?
Marriage, family, serious relationships – they are wonderful. But it’s impossible to seek serious relationships. It’s impossible to find someone for marriage by force or planning. You simply meet a person who becomes close to you. What form the relationship takes – legal or not – becomes almost irrelevant. If sex begins with a thought, then what about relationships? Aren’t they born from mutual attraction? And mutual attraction is impossible without a personal meeting.
The Depth of Connection
Relationships are never only about intimacy. Even one-night stands are a form of relationship, and there is nothing wrong with variety. But only the depth of relationships can make people truly taste the fullness of life.
Being together is always difficult.
Even if it’s Love. It means answering not only for yourself but for the other. To be responsible for relationships as a creative process. Relationships must be the essence of creation. That’s hard work. It means growing something, nurturing it, taking care of it so it doesn’t perish but becomes better every day. And maintaining love through all of that…
If someone says it’s easier alone, they’re right. It is always easier alone because being together is always difficult. Even if it’s Love… especially if it’s Love.
Strength in Togetherness
But if someone says they are a loner, better off alone, that they need to be alone, then they might be missing something important. Only a strong person, selflessly, without prioritizing their own comfort or seeking easy peace, can create something greater together. Only that kind of person is capable of truly strong deeds. Deeds worthy of respect.
Quite often, people admit to themselves that they are just playing – with hormones and consciousness. Sometimes they mistake the play of hormones and mind for Love. Sometimes the mix of hormones, consciousness, and a desire for “something inexplicably greater” gets confused with the actual “something inexplicably greater.” Some fantasizers don’t even need hormones or consciousness to attach meaning to an empty space.
And then sometimes miracles really do happen. And when that happens, the game of hormones and consciousness is no longer needed. Two beings become totally absorbed in the amazing process, the state, the world where they only understand what Life truly is.
Voluntary renunciation of personality with ego, voluntary entry onto the path of rigorous spiritual training, in which the weak perish, and the strong become Gods…
