They choose the right words in conversation, adjust their voice to the right tone, and guide the exchange along what seems like the perfect path—gracefully inserting verbal anchors at just the right moments. These people are very pleased with themselves. They are indeed very smart. But what they often forget is that relationships are not a mathematical formula. They cannot be added, multiplied, or divided. Relationships are like faith.
Relationships Aren’t Meant to Be Calculated
You don’t examine faith under a microscope. You dive in headfirst and trust the process completely. That’s why it’s so difficult for non-believing mathematicians—those who rely on logic and control—to build lasting relationships. They need the process to be predictable, to go according to plan. And most of all, they need to be right. If their worldview says 2×2=4, they will insist on it being universally true, unaware that in someone else’s coordinate system, 2×2 might equal 5. It’s a symbolic way of saying: not everyone sees life through the same framework.
Belief Systems Can Create Barriers to Intimacy
Once they accept a two-dimensional view of life, it becomes nearly impossible to imagine a third dimension. That leap—into a more nuanced, uncertain, human realm—is deeply uncomfortable. It’s not just a cognitive stretch; it’s an emotional one. And the discomfort gets louder when wounds enter the picture. When a beloved partner leaves, for example, it’s easier to adopt the belief “all women are sluts” than to sit with the ache. But that belief locks them into a coordinate system that’s incompatible with intimacy. The belief itself becomes a barricade, cutting off the path to connection. It casts a shadow so wide that even a new love—tender and promising—gets trampled underfoot.
The Intelligence That Misses the Point
These people are very smart. Too smart, sometimes, to grasp the simple truth: the real art of relationship lies in surrender. In choosing to participate in a living, unpredictable dynamic. It requires stepping into the arena not with a manual, but with your whole being. You don’t lose your head—but you do trust something bigger than your logic. Without trust, you can’t take even a single step on this journey.
